Foreign Relations 101: prerequisite Sarcasm 300
Do you really care about the kids Africa?
Yea, I really do!
Now, the tone of this question is one of cynicism and sarcasm which is implied by the “really” that was just tossed into the derogatory nature of the sentence. So, it is because of that fact that this question was one that I randomly selected to answer… its style and tone the perfect match for my own!
Would you like to know why I really care about the kids in Africa?
Of course you do, but let me ask you this, do you think they really care about the U.S.?
Umm fuck yeah they do! They idolize the U.S. and we market ridiculous commercial goods to them at ridiculous prices compared to the measly $2.00 a fucking day they make breaking their backs for there 600 kids and extended family… which is a hell of a lot larger than we think is fucking normal…. but all those people are just orphans and widows and the injured folks, because their country is experiencing civil fucking war and/ or guerilla fighters came in and sliced up there families with a freakin’ jungle sword. They just got adopted into the family cuz, well you know how them kind and selfless types are, don’t ya?!
Yeah, they fucking care about the U.S. and they think about us every damned day because we have the nerve to trade commercially with them, showing them day in and day out how wonderful and prosperous and fantastic the U.S. is and still ask do we care about the kids in Africa?
You should, you selfish bastard. Why? Because helping them creates valuable allies and ties for building and strengthening peace efforts all over the world….they care about US so much in fact that, if we refuse or neglect to care about them, they are going to notice. They aren’t stupid, and they are able to realize that we are turning a deaf ear to their need. The kids in Africa are eventually going to grow up. Kids we apparently don’t care about are growing up in war torn countries with illegitimate governments run by violent leaders and filled with terrorist and oppressive groups, whom if we neglect to care about now, will remember the U.S. in the years to come from the time when we ‘didn’t really care’. And they’re going to build up some weapons with all the useless shit we ship over there in place of some ACTUAL fucking assistance and they’re going to bomb the fuck out of US!
That’s why I care about kids in fucking Africa you twit! Because it’s kind of important ya’ know, maintaining good relationships with foreign countries, even the ones we want to just sweep under the rug. The ones with a bunch of mal-nutrition orphan babies that will eventually advance their country politically and industrially when we could find no reason to give a shit about them and weren’t paying attention. Because the U.S. is a country, built from the ideals and values of each individual citizen, we basically said they weren’t fucking important enough to care about, shown not only in our actions, but in the questions we ask ourselves daily.
That’s not why I personally care, I’m just telling you that’s why YOU should care! I care about the kids in Africa because I am kind-hearted and selfless like that. …and, like, world peace and stuff. (I’m a regular fucking Miss America, huh buddy!)
